Hello friends,
We at Free Mom Hugs Southern Ontario strongly embrace diversity and inclusion for all. We believe that everyone should be respected, welcomed and feel included as their true authentic selves. Our motto is “promoting love and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, one hug at a time”. While many believe every Canadian parent would accept AND celebrate their child after coming out, our group’s existence would not be necessary if that were true.
This past week, we were saddened to hear that Pope Francis of the Catholic Church has signed a 9-page document outlining that the church will continue to deny blessing LGBTQ+ marriages because (in their opinion) “it is rooted in sin”. Marriage equality was legalized nationwide in Canada on July 20, 2005. While we are not surprised that the church will not change their archaic stance, we were surprised about some additional information that we have learned in regards to publicly-funded Catholic schools in our area.
As LGBTQ+ adolescents are at a much higher risk of dying by suicide, it is our intention to educate parents about what is happening and what avenues they can take to voice their concerns.
Last week, a disturbing letter was distributed to parents at an Oakville Catholic school outside after dismissal time. The letter was addressed to parents/guardians and was not signed by a group or an individual. It was discussing the school board’s message inviting parents to provide input on proposed changes to Policy II-45 – Equity and Inclusive Education. The letter claims, “the board directive suggests hiring teachers on the basis of their colour, gender identity and expression, not on academic and experience merit, thus leading to the degradation of their teaching quality”. The letter continues, “In addition to the hurting brought by reversed-discrimination, giving preference to teachers CLAIMING to be part of the LGBT+++ community, the practice would have the purpose of increasing the GENDER-BENDING effects currently trying to influence our children through the communications media. And what about a claimed reversal later on, since gender identity is said to be able to change by the day?”
The language, tone and message of his letter is very troublesome to us. So-called “reversed discrimination” hiring practices do not seem to be an issue with Catholic school boards, as many LGBTQ+ staff members have told us that they do not feel safe to discuss who is in their immediate family (or even who they are legally married to) at work as others are. Some purposely live outside of the city they teach in, so parents or administrators do not see them with their family in the community. Catholic teachers are encouraged to teach the sexual education units through a “Catholic lens”, so the Ontario curriculum is being delivered differently depending on what (again, publicly-funded) school board the student attends. Although Catholic school boards have inclusion policies, the LGBTQ+ staff and students do not feel they are fully included in these policies. According to CBC News, as of June 2020, “the Thunder Bay Catholic School Board is believed to be the only Catholic board in Ontario that flies the rainbow flag at its board office”. There are many trustees of Catholic school boards that monopolize school board meetings addressing issues against reproductive rights, end of life rights and even initiating motions to have teachers evaluated based on their spirituality and beliefs. The letter distributed last week certainly has a similar tone to many of the trustees that are constantly showing their true colours and personal agendas.
What can you do?
Research your local Catholic Trustee candidates before you vote at the next election. We will try to provide more information about who has voted for and against inclusive practices, if any current trustees run again. Reach out to them and ask what their thoughts on LGBTQ+ inclusion entails in the Catholic school board they are trying to represent.
Contact Catholic school staff, board administrators and trustees to express your concern that LGBTQ+ students and staff feel safe, welcomed and loved at school. Ask how they are personally ensuring the safety of the students in their care. Remind them that suicide rates among LGBTQ+ students are much higher and their actions could literally be life and death.
If your child attends a Catholic school, check in with them. Ensure they know you believe LOVE IS LOVE and you will always accept and celebrate who they are.
The absence of a pride flag outside of Catholic schools during the month of June speaks volumes. Contact your local mayor to suggest intersections closest to Catholic high schools be considered for the next locations for rainbow crosswalks. These students may be called sinners at church, school or even at home, so let them see a beautiful sign of inclusion from their city or town every day.
Sending love, light and of course hugs,
Karol DeStefano, Chapter Co-Founder
Free Mom Hugs Southern Ontario