In 2013, someone I love very much came out as gay. I can't say I was prepared or even knew what to do. I knew that I loved them and would do anything to ensure they were safe and happy. The world can be a frightening place for young 2SLGBTQIA+ people. I was terrified that they would be mistreated or bullied.
I grabbed my computer and set to work, looking for resources to help me support my loved one. I thought I had to do something different than what I was already doing. While at a “Take Back the Night” march in Hamilton, I came across a booth that had rainbows on it. I thought at the very least I could get some resources to read.
I met a person who I will never forget, and I am sure they are unaware of the impact they made on me. I asked what I should be doing to support my loved one. I said I was nervous because I was afraid of the way society may treat them and that life may be harder for them. She just simply said, “You don't have to do anything different. You just have to continue loving and supporting them.” It was too easy, I thought. Is that all I have to do? I went home and did "nothing different." That was the best advice I’d ever received.
Over the next few years, I wanted to ensure I was a good ally, so I went online, trying to learn all I could about the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. I came across the Free Mom Hugs Movement in the USA. I knew right then and there, I had to be a part of it. I joined a Canadian Facebook group of parents with 2SLGBTQIA+ kids. I put a post out that I was starting a Free Mom Hugs group in Hamilton, Ontario, and asked if anyone wished to join me. And it was there I met Susie, who was interested in helping me start a group. I piqued the interest of one of my coworkers, Stephanie, and we had three members. We made shirts, got Hershey’s Hugs chocolates to distribute, and attended our first protest. We were soon to learn how much the Free Mom Hugs Movement was needed in our area. I never expected to have people break down and tell me they hadn't had a hug in years from their parents (or family members). We began planning for our first pride and building our presence in the community and on social media as Free Mom Hugs Hamilton.
The first prides we attended as a group were in 2019, Haldimand Norfolk Pride, then Hamilton Pride. Often met with protesters and street preachers, we saw a need to add advocacy to our list of activities. Our group of three slowly began to grow with some passionate key individuals behind the scenes, as did our online presence. We attended weekly protests in town, and continued to plan and participate in local pride events. Our continued growth across the province prompted us to change our name to Free Mom Hugs Southern Ontario. With this growth, our lead members came and went. Each adding value during their committed time in our thriving group.
Two very dedicated individuals, with similar stories now comprise our current "Three." On two separate occasions, Sandra and Mel showed up alone at the Hamilton bus station to join our FMH group and attend Toronto Pride. Not knowing anyone, each on their own personal journey and alliship with the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. These two Moms took a leap, shared my vision and the need to continue to build on a foundation that was created by other great Moms before them. They sit beside me on our Board, building a network across our country that provides love and acceptance to our wonderful 2SLGBTQIA+ community.
Our newly incorporated group is growing fast, and we have members joining every week, from all across the country. Our major hub is our Facebook group where we have created the best resources possible. Our community helps and advises our community. We have a strong, committed group of volunteers that work behind the scenes, but there is always room for more.
I would be remiss if I did not mention our families. This volunteer work takes us away from our own families. We are dedicated to the work, but we could not do it without the love and support of our husbands and kids. That said, February 2024, I have decided to step down from my volunteer duties and prioritize my personal well-being by taking some time to recharge and focus on other personal things that I've been neglecting.
I will maintain my connection by remaining on the board, thus allowing me to continue to contribute to FMHC’s mission, vision, and goals. I am encouraging a smooth transition as FMHC begins recruitment for a Volunteer Coordinator.
I love what I do. People are being helped by our work. They feel affirmed and loved. I’m eager to see what our future holds at
FMHC!
